Why Hitman doesn’t work in real life

After two weeks of first-hand research in Apollo Gleneagles Hospital, Calcutta, one is compelled to conclude that Mr. Reiper (a.k.a Agent 47 of Hitman fame) would be a terrible failure in real life. Here are five reasons why:

  1. Guards in real life are not as stupid and predictable in their routine.
  2. You don’t find uniforms in your size lying about in convenient locations.
  3. Wouldn’t it be terribly inconvenient moving about with many bottles of anaesthetic in one’s pocket?
  4. (Pointed out by Niklas) Usually it isn’t enough to dress up like a guard to fool the other guards, because they recognize each other.
  5. You never find fuse boxes, trip switches, alarms and other such things lying about in convenient, accessible areas, and unguarded and unlocked.



8 Replies to “Why Hitman doesn’t work in real life”

  1. Yay!! I know what Hitman is and I mostly know nothing about such stuff. I bought my 12-year-old cousin Hitman. He din’t like it. πŸ™‚

  2. Shame on you for buying your 12-year-old cousin Hitman! πŸ‘Ώ It’s not a kids’ game at all! In fact, when I bought (in the UK) I was asked to provide proof of age! 😳

  3. Me was also mean! You forgot to mention that! I was mean… and sugested wickedly that Santa wasnt real either as if Buggling was very naΓ―ve.

  4. What?! Santa isn’t real?! Next you’ll be telling me that Agent 47 isn’t real either! πŸ‘Ώ

  5. Niklas told me about you waking up to the harsh realities of the world. πŸ˜₯

  6. Yeah, it’s been an eventful couple of weeks, and Mr 47 was the only thing I had. Now Niklas has taken that away too πŸ˜₯ *drama*

  7. Hmmmm….I daresay his pistols will still work though. And he should have no qualms about using them. After all, his victims will get immediate treatment! Why bother with chloroform when you have automatics tucked into every nook and corner of that immaculate suit!

  8. I want to play Hitman. πŸ˜₯

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