E-mails under the microscope

Having been a right lazy bugger this past week, I’ve had an attack of conscience—which means I’m updating my blog (thanks to Marie for planting a boot up my behind and reminding me to do so!) and have added a whole new book review. (Read it!)

Both pleasure and business kept me away this past week, and getting back to normal routine, which included clearing up my various inboxes, I happened to analyse the mails I get. They fall into the following five categories:

  1. Solicited mails (including from work and friends): Generally in response to mails I have sent out, and also people wanting to know how I am and wanting to give me work. This is fine. I live for these mails (take the hint, if anyone is reading!).
  2. Media releases: Mm, well, a necessary evil. Very necessary from a work point of view, but it can be quite annoying to see a notification saying ‘5 new mails’ and get your hopes high, only to find that they are about the flight numbers and timings of the Aussie cricketers or about some new innovation from Apple!
  3. Nigerian (and now other) financial scams: Yup, we all get them, and they do get hilarious-er and hilarious-er. These days they are getting clever and putting stuff like ‘Winning notification’ and ‘Congratulations, you’ve won!’ in the subject line. This category also includes those security notifications coming from banks and offers of pirated software. Good exercise for the fingers to delete them, and they otherwise give the spam filters a good workout!
  4. Good old porn: All about naughty soccer moms, overage women pretending to be schoolgirls, and people wanting audience for their videocams or company in their chatrooms, among other things! The spam filters usually catch these easily. When they don’t, it’s entertaining to say the least. One day, in office, I accessed my mail only to find, ‘Find a hot lady tonight’ right on top of my inbox!
  5. Drugs and surgery: These are getting more common than the porn ones actually. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the names of the drugs I’ve been offered, apart from Viagra. Oh, and if I had a penny for every time I got a mail to increase the size of a particular organ I don’t even have!!

Hmm, well, so what does all this say about me?


One Reply to “E-mails under the microscope”

  1. I think what your emails say about you is: You’re a pervert who likes to make money.

    Or not. I could be really off the mark on that one.

    The only emails I get are: Paypal scams, Free laptop scams, Moiraine is Rand’s aunt!!!111one crap… I don’t want to know what that says about me.

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